A Walk On Thanksgiving Day

30@hannes_becker

 

I’ll be taking a long walk on Thanksgiving Day if the weather permits. I’ll have plenty of time since this year my close family members have plans of their own, keeping all of us from getting together – first time in 30 years. I think I need this walk. It’s long overdue. The kind of walk to help me ponder over everything, mostly reflecting. But if I were asked what I am thankful for on this Thanksgiving day, I have to say, I am thankful for my family, thankful we are as healthy as we can be, and as happy as we aimed to be, and that no matter what keeps us apart, we are all striving to better our lives and ourselves…for that I am very grateful.

 

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I’ve Never Been Anybody’s Type

The bits and pieces I write in this journal if you will, are topics I intend to compile in an autobiography someday soon  in great detail. But for now, I am only sharing excerpts.

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I came to this realization almost unexpectedly while I dined with a female friend the other day. As I sat at the bar in my favorite restaurant in San Francisco, delighted by the Auburn colors of the Manhattan cocktail I ordered from their mixed drink’s menu, shimmering against the candle votive, she detailed to me her excitement over a fairly new relationship she felt was becoming serious. I looked over to the barkeeper, and we exchanged a smile, one I couldn’t tell if we were flirting, if only, I wished – he was fifteen years younger; I reminded myself, taking another sip. While I listened to her detail her story, and ask for my opinion, I began to reflect upon the different men I’ve come across in my lifetime, in business or pleasure, friendship or not, soul mates, or imaging them to be, I realized that I’ve never been anybody’s type. A perception dampening the mood, not mine really, but my female dinner companions’ for sure. When I got home that night, I jotted down notes, reflecting on the past 25 years of my life, deciding this topic too needed a chapter in my memoirs…

{I apologize for not remembering where the photo is from}

How It Was Growing Up In A Traditional Home – an excerpt

I come from a traditional upbringing, in my youth, experiencing nothing but rules, and lectures. Come to think of it, it lasted well into my early twenties, until I left home, feeling the need to explore, craving to learn all that was out there,making my own choices,  not once frightened nor timid about taking chances. I have no regrets, even when I look back, which I seldom doin my opinion, this step only hindering one’s progress… (to be continued)

 

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Observations: Volume I

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I spend a lot of time observing mostly anything and everything, taking it all in. I take long walks daily, during my lunch hour, in the evenings after work, over the weekend, and all in different parts of the city (being San Francisco) just so I could observe all that’s going on around me. This exercise I find useful since I love to write. Then I thought about it, and decided it would be fun to share with you weekly, some of my observations just for fun, and maybe even ponder over.

1. Priceless Smiles:After an employee survey at our workplace conducted months ago, detailing a list of concerns, management took note of one particular gripethe need for healthy snacks in the shared kitchen space. I only found out about it when I heard what sounded like commotion, mostly laughter and excited conversation coming from the kitchen area. I wandered towards the niche, discovering as I turned the corner the entire space transformed into what appeared to be a streamlined corner store, with wire shelving, and modern machinery carrying everything from gourmet coffee and tea to organic juices, yogurt and various grains, mainly cereal. There were fresh fruits in baskets, dried ones in air tight packaging, and even a display case filled with candies. Christmas, I reacted, came early. As I watched everyone scurry about the space, inspecting all the goodies, I felt a sense of good fortune. Priceless I thought, perfect timing, a wonderful morale booster, a much-needed step towards the right direction indeed. I couldn’t be happier, and from the looks of things, neither could anyone else.

2. A Small pre-Thanksgiving Dinner: This year my family, for the first time in decades, will not be spending Thanksgiving together. We discussed it as usual, and realized that it wasn’t going to work out no matter what. This knowledge made me sad, and I am more than certain it upset my mother also, considering her age, and declining health. So, on Monday she called me at work, and asked that I stopped by for dinner. I accepted, although very tired from a hard days work, and too eager to go home. When I showed up in her kitchen as I always do, I noticed she’d made a small Thanksgiving dinner, and invited my adult kids as well, surprising me. I wanted to cry. I was touched by her efforts in her delicate state to keep the tradition, even if it meant celebrating “GIVING THANKS” a week early. I will cherish this forever.

3. When One Door Closes Another Window Opens: After receiving my first bad review over the weekend for a book I had written, I shut down, unable to put two words together for fear of not writing skillfully enough. I carried this heavy burden on my shoulders throughout the weekend, and well into Wednesday, second guessing myself and my writings. On Wednesday, I went to the post office to mail a copy of my book to someone who wanted a signed print. As I queued up in line, waiting for my turn to stamp and drop off the package, a woman walked up to me and said that I looked familiar. She recognized me from a distance, but couldn’t figure out from where. She noticed the book in my hand, and soon realized I was the author. She knew this because she had bought a copy of my book through Amazon months ago. I blushed of course, embarrassed that others in line were beginning to take note of our conversation. She thanked me for the wonderful story, and asked if I planned to write more novels. I smiled nodding,  while on the inside feeling forever grateful to her…

4. Crossing Paths With A Few Memorable Individuals:This week, I’ve had several people I know, or stay in touch with over the years, thank me for so many reasons. It’s as if they sensed how much I needed their reassurance, their kinds words timely expressed, all of it reminding me, that although I feel on occasion that I go unappreciated, they notice, and they remember.

 

 

 

A Week In The Life Through Quotes

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On days where I have deep discussions about life, health and possible plans for all the uncertainties with all members of my immediate family, draining me.

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Mostly on Sunday afternoons, this thought goes through my head while I prep myself emotionally for the week ahead.

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Good plan, especially on days when nothing seems to be going well.

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This is a great suggestion. One I use always. Not only does it make someone feel better, but it helps me feel better about myself.

The Damage of A Bad Book Review

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In light of all the positive reviews I’ve gotten so far for my books, I got my first bad review. And I have to tell you – it stung – very painfully.

My first normal reaction was – how mean and cruel can anyone be? And I teared up, while reaching out to my friends for moral support. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, bothered by her words all throughout the day, still thinking what she had to say was heartless. Eventually, I went to bed, but couldn’t sleep even still thinking – how mean.

But then I remembered that all throughout my life,  I’ve come across many very direct individuals, with their words shaking my entire being into second guessing myself for weeks and days after that. When I finally got over it, I decided to have an action plan – to improve upon what I’ve worked so hard to achieve, proving them wrong.

No one likes negative input, but it is a necessary force in society that we learn from, and we grow, striving to be better. I get it. But it still hurts…

Breakfast At Tiffany Film Influence

I’ve seen the film Breakfast at Tiffany a dozen or more times, each time noticing something else about the story, the actors, the set, and yet falling in love with Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard all over again every single time.

Recently, I discovered here that the apartment or building used for the exterior film scenes for the classic is up for sale, interestingly enough we get to peek inside. I find this tidbits fun to share, especially with those who can relate one’s attachment to such a  film. I could totally see myself writing my novels here. See for yourself.

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What Is Your Plan?

When I saw this somewhere online, and I feel bad that I have no reference point as to where or what site it was. I laughed. It was all I could do. It’s the perfect truth, detailed simply in art. But then I wonder, if life were as simple as a straight line, and every plan is accomplished very easily, would I be so bored, and would I then see the pictures opposite? Longing to just have a few bumps in the road. Has anyone been in either position and thought the other option was better? I wonder…

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