Can’t Help But Think…

That I may be paying for a Karma of sorts – from the way my life has spiraled out of control. I thought this sort of thing happens only once in your life – when you hit rock bottom and then some, only so that you can bounce back. But I guess, this happens more than once in someone’s life. I was told once by a friend that – maybe the first time when my life hit rock bottom, I didn’t choose the right path and therefore I am being given a second change to re-align, adjust and revamp or emerge if you will from the ashes.

I don’t know what to think – but the back to back misfortunes that have taken shape in my life – is beginning to take it’s toll on my health. Emotionally, mentally, physically and whatever else damage it is doing. I need a vacation. I get-away but it isn’t possible – now that I am caring not only for my mother, but also for my sibling – Who’s suddenly become disabled, mostly mentally.

I keep telling myself that hopefully all of this is temporary, and if I prayed hard enough, I would be able to find the strength to cope and manage all the hardships. After all there are folks in worse of conditions then myself. But I get sucked in to feeling scared…because for the first time in my life, I have no answers or solutions.