A Checkup?

I scheduled a physical for today because I’ve been feeling too much under the weather lately and figured it was best to get myself checked. Although while I sat in the waiting area, I began to wonder why even bother? Or that perhaps I just need a real vacation, unplugged from all things reality. Not the running away I’d been doing.

My cheery doctor walked in, and shook my hand as usual, which, in my case doesn’t make me feel any better. In fact, it puts me under more stress. But I didn’t  want to burst her bubble.

Anyway, as always the first question she asks is – what brings you here today. And my first reaction always, a sigh – which I figure would set the tone, or maybe causes the doctor to brace herself – because let’s face it, sigh is the predictable in their line of work.

Today however, she sat there and actually listened to all the s*** I dished out and the more I spoke, the lower her jaw dropped – and although she humored me with an exam, she sat across from me and said – There is only one thing wrong with you – and I held my breath. Your heart…I gulped…she slid closer, and held my hand…and I am certain I turned pale. You are suffering from a broken heart – she said and I cocked my head back, wondering if she was mocking me. But she wasn’t. She was genuinely serious and repeated it again adding – and for that there isn’t much we can do except tell you that it takes time to heal a broken heart – and she wished me well and left the room.

Well this sucks…

Company Sponsored Parties, and How To Behave

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I’ve done years of company sponsored happy hours, and holiday parties. Some I attended while others I planned – to attend of course. At each event, I make sure I pace myself, mostly nursing a glass of champagne or wine, while others opt to do shots and more drinks,  and less food, within the first hour making a fool of themselves always. I’ve nursed some of those people. escorted them to curbside to call a cab to get them home, or even been kind enough to take them home myself, not at all shocked at all that I have seen. But I know, or the rule of thumb is that when you are attending a company function, you desist  from the following frowned upon behaviors – no matter how cool your company is:

1. Don’t drink past your limit.
2. Don’t drink and talk about your boss.
3. Don’t drink and hit up on co-workers, crossing some sort of line that you can’t remember afterwards.
4. Don’t drink and not eat.
5. Don’t do drugs in front of other co-workers or encourage them into doing them with you.
6. Don’t drink and announce things to everyone.
7. Don’t drink and try to hold onto your boss, rambling on the side of his/her face about anything.
8. Don’t drink and have sex with co-workers.
9. Don’t drink and then stumble around the room, spilling drinks on others.
10. Don’t drink and because of it break bottles or glassware.

Just don’t…

Please celebrate the holidays responsibly.

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