I Have Trouble Looking Forward To The Weekends

Articles-27-02-15-610x620My oldest came back from Nebraska three weeks ago to help the clinic where she worked train her replacement. The idea of her coming back was exciting at first, since I figured the three of us, my youngest, her and I would spend quality adult time together, shopping, talking, cooking, and even walking, just being together.

I don’t know what I was thinking, or who I was fooling, for believing in quality family life. Times have changed and I’m getting older, yearning, longing for the simple days where we ate together without looking down at our cell phones, made dinner from scratch, walked through a park and watched a move, cuddled under a blanket, and yes it’s the twenty-first century I am referring to.

Far, far, far from it.

My oldest has changed. She’s been changing this past year, into someone I don’t like much. I guess her explanation that she is years behind after comparing herself to a roommate of theirs in Nebraska, justifies her actions. She is loud, over-bearing, bullying, demanding, and at times very selfish, even though I know deep down she has a good heart. Something terrible has happened to her personality, and I worry that this is the future, and she is everything I expected her not to become.

The last few weekends, I’ve tolerated her, and her up and down emotions. This weekend, I made no effort to get out of my way to see her, hiding mostly in my apartment, writing. She came by unannounced, on Friday while I worked from home, demanding lunch. She napped, and then left. Today was a repeat, except she spent more time on her cell phone, and only stopped because the battery died and she didn’t have her plug, her mood very angry as the day unfolded. She ordered her sister to text her friends so she could stay connected, and then left again almost abruptly to charge her phone and get her beauty rest. Her requirement a good eight-hour sleep each night. Although, that seldom happens. She is often under her covers texting, and scrolling through the internet.

I was relieved to discover from my youngest that they would be  busy tomorrow, because the older one wants to spend the day with her father, who is making a special trip to the city to be with them.  He is another story. I think I am relieved a little that I will spend tomorrow doing what I love best-taking a walk along the coast, breathing in some fresh air, and recharging my body and my soul.

I am tired…

{I don’t know where I found this photo, but at this moment it expresses my mood perfectly}

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Finding Inspiration From A BBC Television Series

propertyofalifefromasuitcaseIMG_3189I’ve been hooked ona BBC television show called Monarch of the Glen. The show aired in the UK from 2000-2005, and is now available through Netflix for all of us in the states to enjoy. So, I’ve been watching it religiously every night, especially after my hubby has gone to bed (since he starts work at 2:30 in the morning), and I am left some time to myself .

The show is set in Scotland, the Highlands, to be more specific, and it’s about a son who returns home from his posh job in London as a restaurateur to help his parents save their family home/castle. The entire series is based on how he creatively, with the help of the family staff, finds ways to do just that, with each episode him learning about the values of family and tradition.

I love the simplicity of the lifestyle, and the way of thinking there, even though it may be far from reality now, since the show aired 10-15 years ago. Each episode has me laughing, thinking, and reflecting on my own past. Outside of pure honest-to-goodness entertainment, the show actually makes me cry.

Anyway, I stumbled upon this show while doing research for my third book since it’s based in Scotland. I wanted the chance to understand the people, and study their dialect, mannerism and so forth to be able to relate my characters as true to life as possible.

This is what I do in my spare time.

{[photo: I took while walking across the Golden Gate Bridge one beautiful October morning 2014}

Publishing My First Book

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I have completed a handful of novels. Well, technically the first one I am not yet ready to publish, I just can’t part with it. The second is a two-part novel, which I am so proud of and so ready to publish.

The trouble with taking the next step is, I don’t know which route to take first. E-book or paperback?  The reason for my personal debate is that, while I commute to and from work every day, I see people, on some days reading an actual book and other days kindling away. I would have to say the ratio is 50/50 and the decision a tough one.

The target audience for my book is mostly anyone mature enough to understand the storyline. There is no age limit, no gender, no class, no color. It’s simply a beautiful story and one very real.

So, while I contemplate which route to take, I would appreciate some feedback from anyone who is in the same boat as I am.

Thanks a bunch